Thursday, January 26, 2012
Getting Out Of The Marriage Rut
It's truly been one of the best things I've ever done. Being a wife is a learning process everyday and it doesn't take much to realize how far from perfect I am. I'm so thankful that I married such an understanding man :). Although we love each other VERY much, life has a way of getting mundane and boring if we don't work on it. Being married is a lot of work but steps can be taken from getting into the marriage "rut" and making it a little bit more fun.
First, try to not get too busy to show affection. I like to make a special effort to get supper ready and cooking in the slow cooker and dishes cleaned up by the time my husband gets home. That way I'm not just leaning my cheek in for a kiss and making half the effort to welcome my man home. I want to greet him with energy and not feeling overwhelmed because I still have to get the table set or dessert made. Since my husband works hard for our family, the least I can do is greet him cheerfully and with my full attention. Honestly, this doesn't happen every day but I try to at least make the effort.
Also, don't be afraid to speak up - communication is beyond key. I find that as a woman, I feel like I'm a great communicator but also tend to think that there are some things my husband will just automatically know. I've learned over the years that men are not mind readers! We definitely communicate differently but it's been a work in progress to recognize the best way to communicate. For me, I need to lay it all out there for my husband. I need to clearly communicate my wants and desires and my husband is very willing to help if he knows what I want. When the lines of communication are open, we can move forward from little arguments that could turn out later to be bigger deals than they should of been.
A good tip is to always make an effort. I've learned though trial and error what my husband finds important. He doesn't seem to notice make-up or hair as much but if I make his favorite meal, he really appreciates it. A little effort goes a very long way!
My best, though rather simple, advice is to read old love letters. Reminisce about times past and read the words of youthful love and adoration. I recently pulled out old love letters from 6 years ago and was blown away by the romantic words of my husband! It brought me back to the days where you made such an effort to make a good impression and always had the nicest things to say. Obviously things change, but reading those letters brought back life into my heart. These moments can be recaptured and often a trip down memory lane is just the way to do it!
Lastly, always remember to be a little bit spontaneous. Realistically, it just gets hard to be spontaneous when it comes to having a family. There's always dishes to wash, a house to clean, kids to bathe. However, even just making a spontaneous effort once a week can really bring the spark back. Awhile back, we decided to break out our wedding wine glasses. It was a nice touch to what was an otherwise seemingly normal day.
For me, getting out of the mundane way of life takes a lot of effort. However, I believe it is definitely worth it!
~What are your best tips to get out of the marriage "rut"?